Wednesday, September 12, 2012

A Parental Paradox

Lo and behold, all the idiots marching up and down the streets holding signs and chanting slogans have Made A Difference! The Israeli government has heard the plight of the Israeli parents and has opened eleventy-billion new kindergartens, free of charge (taxes aren't real money, as we all know), so parents can actually go to work without having to spend half their monthly salary on a real kindergarten.

This seems to have worked well for almost a few minutes.

In a nutshell, the problem is this: in these free kindergartens you get approximately two adults for about 35 toddlers. I'm devoutly childfree, granted, but I can see how this might be considered sub-optimal by some. Having hung out with plenty of young elitist parents in my last job, I'm under the impression that what the relatively rich consider to be a good kindergarten would have a ratio of 1:4 (or even 1:3), whereas 1:17 is considered to be somewhere between "emotionally scarring" and "criminally negligent".

I was going to show some serious calculations with serious demographic data, but bugger that; the above ratios are quite enough to demonstrate this point:
The belief that there must be one kindergarten teacher for every 4 children means that you must quadruple the number of people working in this profession. And when you have to quadruple the amount of workers in a difficult and unrewarding (not to mention unproductive) profession, I'd say you have a national problem.

Worse yet, you then add insult to injury by demanding that the people working in this profession don't get paid properly; after all, at 1 kindergarten teachers per 4 children and 2 parents per child, this means if you want the kindergarten teacher to have an average salary, the average parent would have to pay 1/8 of his or her salary every month. More, in fact, because a kindergarten needs to pay out of that same money for everything they have, from the building to the food. And even more, because those who make a lot of money already pay large sums to keep their children at the 1:4 ratio and safely away from this sort of discussion. I'll be nice and call it 1/7 then.

And of course, few parents settle for one kid these days. Have your firstborn accidentally followed by a pair of twins and that's more than 40% of your monthly salary automatically spent faster than you can say "social welfare". Does it even matter whether this 40% is in the form of taxes or just money you have to spend?

This will never work. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Less adult supervision for kids or higher costs for kindergartens, you have no choice but to pick one and make the best out of it.